1. Our minds and bodies are triggering us to be grown-ups, and to do grown-up things but without all the stress involved. There’s something inside of us that says it’s too lame to still be a kid but it’s too soon to be a full-on adult. We don’t know what that is called or the cause of it. Most times we follow the grown-up feeling, cos it makes us look more bad ass to our friends.
2. Our hormones make us who we are. We don’t know what hormones and what to do about it. We follow our bodies and the thoughts and actions that come with it.
3. We don’t understand our actions because of number 2. You may think that what we are saying and doing is based on our own decisions and actions but it really isn’t.
4. Number 2 and 3 above is caused by the frontal lobes of our brain not being fully connected yet.
5. We’re standing on the cusp of kid hood and adulthood and we’ve never felt more confused in our lives. The kid in us is scared but the wannabe adult in us says “don’t be a wuss, just embrace it”. We don’t know how to embrace these changes. It has not yet been taught to us.
6. Our choices are what affect our lives most. The only thing we want to do well and what you, our parents, want for us is to make good decisions. Decisions about drugs sex, love, life, careers, are all decisions that will affect our lives. We wanted you to teach us those decision making skills when we were little. Not now. It’s too late now. I have enough to deal with now that I can’t still focus on you and things you want to discuss with me. You can only be my manager now.
7. Manage me and my decisions. Talk to me about my decisions. I may not always want to talk and I may not always want to listen to what you think is the better decision but just the fact that you are trying to help and not criticize or decide for me is a step in the right direction.
8. You will never know what I really do when I go out. I may try to be perfect in front of you but don’t trust that I won’t be tempted to do other things. Most parents are OK with having a “see no evil, hear no evil” relationship with their kids. There are temptations and I will be tempted. This is where good decision making skills come in. If you taught it to me you won’t have anything to worry about, right?
9. When I make a mistake that has huge implications – please help me. Don’t abandon me or leave me to ‘adult’ on my own just because I’m experimenting with adult things and you want me to feel the consequences of my actions. I can tell you now you are doing it out of anger. Keep your anger for world war protests and corrupt governments. All I ask is some parenting guidance especially after making a big mistake.
10. If I’m ever addicted to drugs or hanging with the wrong crowd – put me under house arrest, tie me to my bed, if you have to, and feed me my food through a straw for the next six months to a year to rehabilitate me. I might put up a fight but I will be so glad you did it for me.
Teens need help making the decisions and finding the balance between adulthood and being a child. We need our parents to help us do this. Don’t desert us by being too caught up in your own life. We still need you, not as we did when we were six but we need you. Give us some of your trust to allow us to grow and be there when things mess up. That’s when we need you most. When no one is in our corner we need to know that you are there.
I’m pleased to have written this article for you, the parent or the teenager. My name is Kashiefah Chetty and I’m a wife and mom of a teenager in the making (she’s only eleven:) and a five-year-old boy. Thinking back to my life as a teen is the motivation for my writing. I write in the hope to reach out to other teens so that you know you’re not alone.
(I wrote this article in 2015 and since then I’ve added three more items to the list.)
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Kashiefah_Chetty/21039