She decided not to marry him, and move miles away from home and her baby daughter.
When classmates asked where my daddy was. Or where my mommy was.
When I wondered where and with whom I belong. I was 6.
When primary school friends ragged on me for not going on the school tour.
When I couldn’t.
When I couldn’t afford to go to the same high school as my other classmates.
When my adopted dad would call me to tell me to come home when I moved away after high school.
I was 19 and sat on the bed after my adopted dad passed away on a sunny day in January. I didn’t cry immediately, or for what seemed like days.
I would go to the cemetery on special days. I would cry.
When grown-ups didn’t understand why I would burst into tears as a baby, little girl, teenager, woman.
That I don’t owe anyone an explanation for it.
When I made a life-changing decision that made everyone happy, but myself.
When, a few months after my daughter was born, I found myself swearing into the receiver of a cellphone, telling someone that they were never there for me while growing up and that its too late.
Whenever I do anything without my children.
That I won’t be a good enough parent.
When my children ask too many silly questions, tell stories with no punch line, want to play never ending games with me.
When people judge me for how I raise my children.
When I let them have a piece of my 30 year old mind.
When an old school friend sold out our friendship because of money, and I realised we were never really friends.
For the family and friends I do have.
When I decided to create this blog as a way to find people who GOT IT. Who got ME, and this NEED to seek MORE out of life…despite the consequences.
When I continue to blog. And blog. And blog.
When my ideas will hopefully one day be well-received.
When I decided to formally retire at the age of 40.
When I think of all the ideas I have and the possible businesses I can start with them.
If my ideas are not well-received – even though it can change people’s lives.
But I will continue to research and read, read, read.
When I started believing I will someday change the world, I knew I wanted to be a full time mom first and foremost without the limitations of a 9-5 job. Simply because I wanted to. And I can.
Now that I have my blog as an outlet for my buzzing thoughts.
The day I quit my job and decided to pursue life as an entrepreneur. I didn’t go through with it, though. Cold feet .
When I look at my husband and children and I know that no matter what else happens, I wouldn’t change anything about my life.
*Yesterday, I came across this person on the net. I was enamoured with the content on her website. She’s a very real and authentic blogger that I can relate to. I copied the format on one of her pages and added my own little story to the headings. Check her version out here.*