The life of a child quickly changes from a little kid into a teenager. Teens find it harder to have someone understand them, especially the grown-ups in their life. I write this article as a reminder to parents who have forgotten what it was like being a teenager.
We want to be grown up and do grown up things but without all the stress involved. There’s a feeling inside us that says its too lame to still be a kid but its too soon to be a full on adult. We don’t know what that is called or the cause of it. Most times we follow the grown up feeling
Our hormones make us who we are. We don’t know what they are and what to do about it. We follow our bodies and the thoughts and actions that come with it.
We don’t understand our actions because of number 2. You may think that what we are saying and doing is based on our own decisions and actions but it really isn’t.
We’re standing on the cusp of kid-hood and adulthood and we’ve never felt more confused in our lives. The kid in us is scared but the want to-be adult in us says “don’t be a wuss, just embrace it”. We don’t know how to embrace these changes. It’s never taught to us.
Our choices are what affects our lives most.The only thing we want to do well and what you, our parents, should want for us is to make good decisions. Decisions about drugs, alcohol, sex, love, life, careers, are all decisions that will affect our lives. We wanted you to teach us those decision making skills when we were little. I have enough to deal with now that I can’t still focus on you and things you want to discuss with me. You can only be my manager now.
Manage me and my decisions. Talk to me about my decisions. I may not always want to talk and I may not always want to listen to what you think is the better decision but just the fact that you are trying to help and not criticize or decide for me is a step in the right direction.
You will never know what I really do when I’m with my friends. I may try to be perfect in front of you but don’t trust that I won’t be tempted to do other things. most parents are OK with having a “see no evil, hear no evil” relationship with their kids. There are temptations and I will be tempted. This is where good decision making skills come in. If you taught it to me and keep teaching it to me you won’t have anything to worry about, right?
Teens need help making the decisions and finding the balance between adulthood and being a child. We need our parents to help us do this. Don’t desert us by being too caught up on your own life. We still need you, not as we did when we were six but we need you. Give us an inch of your trust to allow us to grow and be there when things mess up. That’s when we need you most.
When no one is in our corner we need to know that you are there.