In the mirror I wince, slightly uncomfortable, yet loving with what I see. In my mind, I am wishfully closer to looking like Kim Kardashian when I actually resemble a dark haired Sarah Jessica Parker.
Starting from the top of my head and working my way down. Here is what I see in the mirror.
My dark brown and spiral curly hair – I wish it was jet-black and super-straight. I wear it curlier more often by searching for hairstyles and hair advice on the internet. Curly and natural is the opposite of plastic and perfect and that is just the look I am going for.
My forehead – Large and with my receding crown at the front of my head it looks like I have a bald hole in the front. It’s quirky but different and I bet you I am the only person who notices it.
My eyes – Brown and the shape is not “oriental” enough for me. Since I stem from Malaysian ancestors I picture myself with eyes like a Buddha. In high school, I would walk around with raised eyebrows just to give my eyes more shape and look more “oriental”.
My nose – Pointy and quite large. I am comfortable with my nose just not the side silhouette of it. I have a hump on the bridge of my nose and I am conscious of it when my hair is tied up and away from my face.
I adore my good skin. Marks and blemishes don’t stay around for long and I don’t wear heavy makeup because I don’t need it. I have dimples on both cheeks so my smile looks legitimate all the time.
My mouth – I don’t mind my lips. I have good looking lips. My teeth have canines that make me feel like I am a canine. They are sharp but they make a dimpled smile more worthwhile. Some of my teeth are slightly crooked and so are my husband’s and sometimes when we kiss our teeth collide and we laugh about it.
My chin – Terribly pointy when smile. It makes me look cute.
In a world where beauty is sold as plastic and fake, my face doesn’t reflect the real me and what I can bring to a conversation, to the office, to a party, to the world. We are not meant to all look the same. I love some of my features and some of them could be improved but that does not mean I don’t love what I see in the mirror.
I love my face. I love that I am the only person who looks like me. My mind and my interest in learning new things are my most prized possession. No matter what I look like, if I work hard and show dedication and perseverance I can be anything and do anything. I embrace this me and to be the best version of myself because my attitude and love for myself make up for where my face may lack.
I admire the beauty of dark skinned people. My confidence in my face and body is thanks to my dark skinned handsome husband. The new political dispensation allowed me the freedom to marry whomever I wish and also allowed me the resources to view the beauty of other nations online and in person. The beauty of a black African means the same as the beauty of a white African and a coloured African.
I am beautifully me because of the beautiful people around me.